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Marriage After Infidelity: How Long Does It Last?

26 Jul 2024·4 min read
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Being in a marriage after infidelity can be both heartbreaking and infuriating. If you have experienced infidelity in your marriage, you may be wondering: What percentage of marriages survive infidelity? Are there any obvious signs for when to walk away after infidelity?

Licensed Mental Health Counselor Grady Shumway says that after big life changes, it’s key to focus on healing and stability. The good news is, yes, your marriage can be saved after infidelity. But, it will take a lot of effort, courage, and forgiveness.

how long does marriage last after infidelity

Understanding Infidelity in Marriage

Infidelity in marriage can take many forms, from physical intimacy to emotional connections outside the relationship. It’s important to know the different types of infidelity and why affairs happen. This knowledge helps us tackle this complex issue better.

Types of Infidelity

The most common types of infidelity include:

  • Physical affair – Engaging in sexual or intimate physical activities with someone other than your spouse.
  • Emotional affair – Developing a close, romantic connection with another person, without physical intimacy.
  • Grey area cheating – Activities like watching pornography, going to strip clubs, or entering sex video chats, which may or may not be considered infidelity, depending on the couple’s boundaries.

Reasons Why Affairs Happen

Affairs can happen for many reasons, including:

  1. Lack of affection – A perceived lack of emotional or physical intimacy in the marriage.
  2. Loss of fondness and love – A gradual erosion of the feelings that originally brought the couple together.
  3. Weak commitment to the relationship – A diminished sense of loyalty or dedication to the marriage.
  4. Communication breakdowns – Inability to openly and effectively discuss issues in the relationship.
  5. Low self-esteem – Seeking validation or attention outside the marriage.
  6. Mental health issues – Conditions like depression or anxiety that can contribute to infidelity.
  7. Addiction – Substance abuse or other addictive behaviors that can lead to poor decision-making.
  8. Major life changes – Significant events or transitions that disrupt the stability of the marriage.

Knowing the different types of infidelity and why affairs happen is key to dealing with marital infidelity.

types of infidelity

Discovering an Affair and Initial Steps

When an affair is discovered in a marriage, it brings a storm of feelings. The hurt spouse feels betrayed and loses trust. They don’t know what to do next. The cheating partner feels guilty and fears losing their marriage. They are unsure of what the future holds.

Signs of Infidelity in Marriage

Infidelity signs include changes in how you talk to each other, being secretive, and less closeness. People might also notice their partner being secretive about their devices or being away a lot without a reason. Balancing marriage and career can also complicate these signs, as work commitments may lead to less time spent together.

What to Do When You Discover an Affair

If you discover your spouse has been unfaithful, don’t make quick decisions. Take time to think, talk to friends or family, and think about seeing a marriage counselor. This can help you decide what to do next.

  1. Give each other space to think and reflect.
  2. Don’t go into the details of the affair without a counselor’s help.
  3. Avoid confronting your spouse in a way that could make things worse.
  4. Focus on taking care of yourself during this hard time.

The first steps after finding out about an affair are crucial. With patience, talking openly, and getting professional help, including child care support for military parents, you might be able to rebuild trust. This process is essential for healing your marriage.

signs of infidelity in marriage

How Long Does Marriage Last After Infidelity?

Dealing with infidelity in a marriage is tough and complex. The American Psychological Association did a big study. They found that 53% of couples who had an affair ended up divorced within 5 years, even with therapy. Also, couples who cheated are three times more likely to split than those who didn’t.

But, there’s another way to look at these numbers. While the odds are tough, 47% of these couples stayed together. How long a marriage lasts after an affair varies a lot. It depends on how much the couple wants to work on their relationship, their effort to fix trust, and their ability to rebuild.

Healing and moving past infidelity is a personal journey. The success of the marriage after an affair depends on the couple’s unique situation and their commitment. The stats show the challenges, but they also highlight that with hard work, talking, and help from professionals, some couples can move past betrayal to a stronger bond.

StatisticPercentage
Couples divorced within 5 years after infidelity53%
Couples who stayed together after infidelity47%
Couples who have been unfaithful are more likely to separate3 times more likely

Tips for Surviving and Rebuilding Trust After Infidelity

Getting over infidelity is tough, but it’s possible to make your marriage stronger. Here are key tips to help you through this hard time:

Communicate Openly and Honestly

Talking openly is key to healing. Both must share feelings and listen well. This honesty uncovers what led to the infidelity and helps in forgiving and coming back together.

Seek Professional Help

Getting help from a marriage counselor is very helpful. They offer an outside view, help make a trust-building plan, and give tools to deal with the situation.

Restore Emotional Intimacy

Building emotional closeness is vital. Try activities like date nights or hobbies together. Focus on positive times and solving issues to rebuild your emotional connection.

Recovering from infidelity is hard, but it’s doable with patience and teamwork. By following these tips, you can rebuild trust and restore the relationship. This way, you increase your chances of surviving infidelity and communication after affair, leading to a stronger, more resilient marriage.

Conclusion

Rebuilding a marriage after infidelity is tough, but there’s hope. The odds might look tough, but every relationship is different. With the right approach and commitment, a marriage can come out stronger.

Open and honest talk is key. Getting help from experts is also important. Couples must work to rebuild emotional closeness. This journey takes time, strength, and facing the issues that caused the betrayal.

Whether to stay in a marriage after infidelity is a personal choice. But for those who decide to stay, the benefits can be huge. It shows how powerful forgiveness and human resilience can be.

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